May is going to be a tough one. May 2nd marks one year since my grandmother has passed. Without question this has been the most difficult year in my life. It’s been a challenge to find sure footing through the tumult of depression. My grandmother has been the person in my life who was always able to set my compass to true. I’ve felt pretty lost this last year so I’ll be talking about the ups and downs we all encounter as we go through the stages of grief. May 22nd is my birthday and it’ll be the first one I have to have without her.
When I think about it it’s probably why I scheduled the tour and book release at this time… something to keep me busy as I work through it. Luckily I’ll have a stage to help carry me over the finish line. As I said I’ll be hitting up Ashland, Eugene, and Portland before doing 2 nights in Seattle at The Triple Door. After that it’s on to The Vogue in Vancouver for May 24th. I can think of no better place to put a period on the end of this very long chapter of my life. I’m not suggesting that grief is done with me, but I think we look to time as a measuring stick… it shows us that there’s distance between us and our pain, and that we’ve taken steps toward something new. I’m not sure what that is yet, and I’m not sure the ache of loss is something we’re ever meant to leave behind entirely, but this month I’ll leave a piece I wrote reflecting on it. The poem of the month is called Year One.